She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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