Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted