i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
