Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize