just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
