accomplished twins. life is a go
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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