Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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