so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
