hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
