Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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