Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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