Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Damn victory sex feels great
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
there is puke in my bra ... again
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
