The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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