Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
