These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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