there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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