There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize