just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize