i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
