omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
