I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
