They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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