So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
