I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
