she was so not down for the gang bang
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
