We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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