drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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