My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
if only i could text you this smell
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
