God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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