Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize