gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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