you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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