I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
