With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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