so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
