if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
