paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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