i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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