Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
