The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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