His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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