Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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