If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
As shirtless as possible
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
