it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
