you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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