I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
