He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
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It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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