moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
