just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
