i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
