today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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