I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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