You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think your dad took our porno
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
