How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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