i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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