I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
