Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
