while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize