Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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