I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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