just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
